Mike Shannon's Raw Review (Aug 10, 2009)
Posted on Aug 10, 2009 by Mike Shannon
Download our exclusive community toolbar for FREE and
receive the latest wrestling news to your computer no
matter what website you're on! Click here to download!
WWE RAW (August 10, 2009)
by: Mike Shannon (DLman91@hotmail.com)
-Apologies all around for skipping Impact this week but duty called and I was in a wedding. I did catch the wild brawl, which I thought was awesome, but was disappointed that they turned around and carried on with the show as soon as it ended. Sigh...
-LIVE! from Calgary (dramatic pause) Alberta, Canada
-Randy Orton kicks us off already in the ring and is all like "I'm gonna beat John Cena" and John Cena comes out and is all like "oh no you're not" and Orton says "uh huh, yes I am" and Cena's like "I'm gonna beat you up".....you get the idea. Anyways, Jeri-Show and their sweet remix hit the ring and the crowd is HOT for the Canadian Jericho.
-Y2J has met with Sgt. Slaughter already and announces he will be facing Cena tonight...in this very ring in Calgary. Orton is extremely happy to hear this until Big Show stops him and mentions that he will be facing Randy tonight.
Fatal Four Way
Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim vs. Beth Phoenix
Winner gets a title shot at some unspecified point in the future. They pair off and Kelly hits a hurricanrana for two but Beth comes back with an attempted Glam Slam, but it turns into a bizarre series of rollups that is ended with a Fox backbreaker on Kim. Kelly tries to fight off the heels and Fox boots Beth by mistake, allowing Gail to hit a missile dropkick for two. Beth puts both Gail and Kelly on her shoulders but Alicia Fox misses her cue by about 10 seconds and Beth has to VERBALLY SHOUT for Alicia to come take her leg out. That's gonna cost them right there.
Anyways, Beth dumps Alicia and Gail takes her out on the floor with a dive. Kelly hits a cross body from the apron onto the both the women on the outside and then Beth tries to go up top but gets stopped. Back inside, Fox dropkicks Beth off the apron, but that allows Gail to sneak up from behind and hit an inverted stomp facebreaker, apparently called Eat Defeat, for the win.
Winner: Gail Kim
-This was actually a really good TV women's match, but Fox blowing her stop really hurt it. Honestly, it might not be as noticeable to someone who isn't a wrestling geek like me, but hey whatever man. ***
-YOUR guest host, All-American Sgt. Slaughter joins us to proclaim respect for the suburb of the United States, the great country of Canada. Sarge asks for a salute of the Canadian flag, but then SWERVES us and turns heel on the entire country of Canada by calling them French and saying they smell. He's not hatin', he's just sayin'. He DEMANDS that everyone in the arena stand up and say the US Pledge of Allegiance. This, of course, gets booed like hell. Nothing like rehashing Canada vs. USA, it's always good fun.
-Recap of HHH announcing he's trying to reform DX. Cole says HHH is on a "search for Shawn Michaels" and that HBK has found another profession. I don't like the sound of that.
Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
Swagger attacks and punishes Bourne with knees, but gets hit with a kick to the knee. Jack takes a powder, but Bourne follows with a double knee to the chest. Back inside, Bourne tries a senton but Swagger sticks his knee out for an awesome counter and goes to work immediately on the back. Bourne mounts a comeback with leg kicks and a hard clothesline gets two. Flying headscissors is caught by Swagger, but Bourne somehow turns it into a rollup for two. After a miscommunication of sorts, Swagger tosses Bourne hard into the corner and hits the gutwrench suplex for the win.
Winner: Jack Swagger
-Another really good match for the time they were given. I would have loves to see this on PPV with them getting 10-15, but it's obvious they are building to Swagger-MVP anyways, so that wasn't going to happen. **3/4
-Post-match, Swagger announces his awesomeness until MVP hits the ring and makes fun of his lisp. Now that's just mean, Mr. Porter. MVP wants a match tonight, but Swagger says next week causing MVP to shove him over. Now how is Swagger a coward? He just wrestled Evan Bourne and now he's just supposed to accept random challenges afterwards?
Dick
-Earlier today...HHH is trying to hunt down HBK in an office building and accidentally hits on a gay guy. Shawn Michaels FINALLY makes his return to WWE television........as a hamburger cook in a cafeteria. REALLY?!!?!? HHH is stunned and so am I. This is the best they can come up with after being off of television for FOUR MONTHS?!?!
-Sarge is back to annoy the crowd again, this time by bringing out Jillian Hall to sing the Canadian national anthem. I personally think this is kind of funny.
You get a "Canada sucks" picture each time Sarge annoys the crowd
Contract on a Pole Match
Eugene vs. The Calgary Kid
Winner gets a contract and I'm sure THIS is what the world was waiting for...the return of Eugene. The Kid does the "Look! An elephant" bit before trying to grab the contract, but Eugene catches him and hits a Rock Bottom and People's Elbow. Kid stops the climb attempt, knocks him off, and grabs the contract.
Winner: Calgary Kid
-DUD for nothing and the Calgary Kid unmasks to reveal himself to be the Miz, ending his lengthy 6 day firing from Raw.
Meet Nick Dinsmore (Eugene) before WWE turned him into a joke
Randy Orton vs. Big Show
I have a feeling these two are NOT going to match up very well. Staredown leads to Orton getting headbutted and hammered in the corner. Show works the front facelock then follows with another headbutt and stepping on Orton. Another front facelock leads to more strikes in the corner, which send Orton to the outside. Not a good 10:00 match here at all. Back inside, Orton goes to the eyes and hits a dropkick, setting up the hangman's DDT for two. GARVIN STOMP~! sets up a kneedrop but he tries the RKO too early and gets chokeslammed for two. Orton avoids the KO Punch and gets himself intentionally counted out.
Winner by Count Out: Big Show
-A very weird match with Orton taking the face role in the first part of the match and then flipping. Crowd had no idea who to react to, so they didn't and you obviously can't job either guy so we get this ending here. Not good. *
-Shawn Michaels establishes he is a CHEF, not a cook. He says he couldn't cut it after WrestleMania and some little girl throws tater tots in his face. HHH pleads for his return and a grill fire gets me to chuckle slightly. Is it funny? Sure. But doesn't HBK deserve a more dramatic return than this?
MVP vs. Chris Masters
MVP controls for a few seconds, but gets slammed off the second rope and beat down. Nice, hard dropkick hits for two, then he goes to work on the back and hits the chinlock. MVP comes back with a judo throw and slugs away. Facebuster hits and the Ballin' Elbow does as well. Boot misses in the corner and Masters tries for the Masterlock, but MVP reverses and hits the Playmaker for the win.
Winner: Chris Masters
-Meh, short TV match. *1/4
-Post-Match, Jack Swagger distracts MVP long enough for the Masterlock to be applied. Swagger adds the gutwrench because he's a dick.
-Montage of Jeremy Piven putting over his WWE experience.
-The Shawn Michaels Comedy Hour continues with HHH donning a chef outfit to help him flip burgers. Some suit flips on Shawn, calling him "Hickenbottom" and breaking kayfabe, before HBK finally loses it and gives him Sweet Chin Music. Shawn also gives the bratty little girl Sweet Chin Music (off screen) before quitting and the DX music hits.
-Sgt. Slaughter is back yet again and asks the crowd to welcome the "best there is, was, and ever will be" as Bret Hart's music hits...until Hacksaw Jim Duggan and his American flag come out instead. Sarge is having WAY too much fun with this, you can tell.
Unreal jersey
Mark Henry and Hornswoggle vs. Legacy
Legacy takes Chavo's place due to injuries suffered last week. Henry dominates DiBiase early, so Cody tags in and takes a press slam. Blind charge misses that allows the heels to switch off on Henry, but a double suplex is countered and Mark suplexes them both. DiBiase dropkick is no-sold and Henry hits the World's Strongest Slam. Hornswoggle calls for the tag, but he misses the Tadpole Splash. Rhodes takes out Henry and DiBiase hits Dream Street on the midget for the win.
Winners: Legacy
-I might seriously pay money to see every heel on the roster give their finisher to Hornswoggle. *1/4
-Backstage, Jericho promises to beat Cena for the first time and dedicates this victory to Calgary. Big Show calls him to a corner and Jericho insults the city over and over to turn heel, not realizing the camera is still on. My predication: They'll cheer him anyways.
-Former creative team member Freddie Prinze Jr. will host next week.
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho soaks in some heat before rolling up Cena for two and trying the Walls, causing Cena to bail. When he returns, he works a headlock while the crowd is still behind Jericho. Y2J dodges a Cena tackle and a baseball slide sends John to the floor. Back inside, Cena's comeback attempt goes nowhere and Chris gets two off an elbow before we hit the chinlock. John comes back his usual, but Jericho rolls him up on the "you can't see me" part for two. Chris follows with a facebuster but a Lionsault misses and Cena rolls through on a cross body attempt. Jericho reverses an Attitude Adjuster into the Walls of Jericho. Cena finally fights out of it and locks on the STF, which causes Randy Orton to run-in and the ref calls for the bell.
No Contest
-Post-match, Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena but takes exception to Orton interfering, so Orton tosses him to the outside. Big Show runs in and takes out Orton, which draws out Sgt. Slaughter, who makes a match for next week: John Cena and Randy Orton vs. Big Show and Chris Jericho. Cena lifts Jericho up for an AA and Orton RKOs him off the setup in a pretty sweet move. Call the whole thing ***.
Final Word
Alot more good than bad this week, as it was definitely entertaining and the wrestling was really good. We'll say this week is a success and hope that the final push to Summerslam keeps up the momentum.
Register at
WrestlingForums.net and
discuss this story with
other wrestling fans [>]
|
