The Way It Ought to Be: Royal Rumble Predictions
Posted on Jan 23, 2009 by John Dubrawa
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The Way It Ought to Be: Royal Rumble Predictions
I’m still not completely in love with the title of these articles, but until a better title surfaces, I’ll continue to write under the same heading. Everyone should know at this point that the WWE Royal Rumble is this Sunday and as such, it seems only necessary to jot down a few predictions, wishes, hopes, and dreams for one of the WWE’s flagship PPVs.
MATCH #1:
BETH PHOENIX (C) VS MELINA – WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Despite how well these ladies wrestle this Sunday, it is going to be Rosa Mendes, Beth Phoenix’s new apprentice, who makes the difference in this championship match. A possible outcome could be that Mendes will help Beth retain, which will likely set-up a rematch between Beth and Melina at No Way Out or Wrestlemania 25. Another possible outcome is that Santino will encourage Rosa to help Beth retain which will backfire and will result in the Glamazon losing the Women’s Championship. This is a most discouraged outcome because it will likely mean the end of Glamarella as we know and love it. However, I’m going to have to go for (and hope) for a Melina victory via DQ when Rosa Mendes interferes, keeping the belt on Beth Phoenix and Glamarella together, at least for the time being.
WINNER: MELINA VIA DQ (BETH RETAINS)
MATCH #2:
JACK SWAGGER (C) VS MATT HARDY – ECW TITLE MATCH:
Does anyone out there see the point in this rematch so soon after the title change took place? I can’t imagine Swagger dropping the belt here, so I suppose the only interesting point of this match will be how Matt Hardy loses. Will it be another semi-clean victory for Swagger or will interference play a part in the end of this match? Don’t care, let’s move on.
WINNER: JACK SWAGGER
MATCH #3:
JOHN CENA (C) VS JBL (w/SHAWN MICHAELS) – WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
What does JBL have in common with Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga, Mark Henry, Scott Steiner, and Hardcore Holly? Why, World Title matches at the Royal Rumble with no shot at winning of course! I admit that JBL’s road to the Rumble has made for a few interesting weeks of Raw, but the mainstay during those weeks and the focus this Sunday will still remain with Shawn Michaels. Though this match smells of a DQ finish, the sensible alternative is HBK turning on his employer and costing him the match, thus setting up a match between the two at Wrestlemania where Michaels will win back his freedom and his financial woes will be over. Even better though, how about HBK enters the Money in the Bank match at ‘Mania, then sells the briefcase to JBL for enough cash to get out of his “contract”? No matter, look for Cena to retain here and for all Cena-haters to collectively get carpal tunnel trying to blog about it the next day.
WINNER: JOHN CENA
MATCH #4:
JEFF HARDY (C) VS EDGE – WWE TITLE MATCH:
Even now, it’s hard for me to make sense of a Jeff Hardy WWE Title reign, but it makes even less sense to take the belt off of him after a month when so much of Smackdown has been built around him. Depending on the storyline for the “mysterious incidents” that have been occurring to Jeff over the last few months, chances are some interference may cost him the belt. Of course the online wrestling world has been buzzing over Christian’s WWE return and claim that Sunday might be that day, but there is a chance that Matt Hardy might be the one costing his brother the belt at the Rumble though I highly doubt it. If you can’t remember the Hardy vs Hardy feud from a few years back, there’s a reason: it only lasted a few months and one match. I don’t really want to see the belt on Hardy or Edge and would rather see a Hardy Boys vs Edge and Christian match at Wrestlemania but since that ranks low on the likely list, the forecast for this Sunday is an Edge victory with a chance of mysterious interference.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: EDGE
MATCH #5:
ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH – 30 SUPERSTARS, 1 WINNER: (well, except for that year that Lex Luger and Bret Hart both won)
As of this writing there are still nine spots to fill in the Rumble but no matter, the winner lies somewhere within the already announced 21 participants. As much as I would like to see MVP enter the Rumble and win it (which would be an excellent exclamation on his newfound win streak), I also know when not to get my hopes up. Thus, I’ve narrowed it down to three possible winners: Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, and Triple H. Chris Jericho was removed from the Rumble two weeks prior to it and this past week allowed back in after humiliating himself, so a victory for him this Sunday would draw great heat from the crowd. Triple H’s struggle to the Rumble has been chronicled on Smackdown every week since Armageddon and his victory would cement him as a repeat winner and get him one step closer to tying the record for most Rumble victories (Steve Austin’s three wins), a record that he will most likely shatter by his retirement (just like Ric Flair’s World Title victories). Randy Orton is an even stronger contender after this past Monday on RAW for the simple fact that I don’t know whether or not he’ll even be in the Rumble. His attack on Vince McMahon will certainly have its repercussions, but what will they be? If he stays in the Rumble, Orton probably has the best shot to win it all, but because of the uncertainty, I’m going to call Triple H as the winner this year. The problem with choosing any of the three is that any one of them has a chance of gaining a title shot next month at No Way Out in the Elimination Chamber match, so a victory this Sunday just won’t seem as fulfilling as it would have been if say, MVP were to win it (or, in a miraculous move, Jeff Hardy, who enters himself in after losing his title to Edge).
WINNER: TRIPLE H
RUNNER-UP: RANDY ORTON
SURPRISE ELIMINATION: VLADIMIR KOZLOV ELIMINATES THE UNDERTAKER (or vice versa), SETTING UP A WRESTLEMANIA 25 MATCH
As always, feel free to send any questions, comments, complaints, suggestions, or rants to metallicoholic@yahoo.com
-JD
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