Who died?
It’s the end of the year and it only makes sense to have a year in review of the wrestling world. Well, this is that only different. Okay, I’ll be honest (I am among family afterall), I can’t actually do a year in review because a year consists of 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months and THOUSANDS of hours of wrestling….on top of this I am a full time worker, a part time student and a per-diem loafer and I simply don’t remember the highs and lows of the wrestling world. I am a lover of all things wrestling and I have been for my entire “something-something” years on this earth. There are several things that have excited me throughout the year but this time of year everyone with a keyboard is writing about that. I wanted to do something a little bit different. You see it’s the holidays and I just got off a plane from visiting my family so it only makes sense that I would have death and dispare in the forefront of my mind.
After the Benoit Family tragedies it seems that there is little left that can shock and rock the wrestling world. These days if someone dies of an exploded heart we’re relieved that they didn’t suffer much. Although the worse tragedy of the year was the Calloway/McCool nuptials (simulating choking) this year was the final bell for a few people who lived to entertain us. I don’t want to do some “Arms of the Angels” montage but I did want to mention a few graplers one last time.
I never understood the crowds response was to question “Who’s better than Kanyon” but if being homosexual was the only thing that held Christopher Klucsartis from reaching his potential in the wrestling world then I hope there is nekked grappling in heaven.
I know what you’re thinking and no Giant Gonzalez did not, I repeat DID NOT die of embarrassment of his neanderthal costume. Jorge Gonzales actually died of complications of diabetes. The true moral of this story is diet and exercise kids.
One of the saddest deaths of the year, for me has to be the one of the baddest little girl on the planet, Luna Vashon. She was underrated and misused in so many ways. In my head I like imagining that we were friends and she would let me call her “Gertie”. If I could pick a poetic way for my friend to go it would be in some kinky act, gone horribly wrong, with Gangrel. She died on my birthday and although her passing was untimely in my wicked imagination it certified us as friends. Either way, my favorite wild child, Gertrude “Luna” Vashon is reported to have succumb with nostile residue. You’re a trailblazer “Gertie”.
Unfortunately, in 2010 a few of our favorite, whacked-out, unpredictable wrestlers lost their wrestler dads. Randy Savage and Lanny Poffo buried or burned their tough-as-nails dad, Angelo. I simply had to pay homage to the guy who gave us The Macho Man AND The Genius. Could there be 2 more different personalities? Rest in peace, Mr. Poffo.
Surprisingly, Jake “the Snake” Roberts is not dead but his daddy sure is. I felt it necessary to mention Aurelian Smith Sr. not only out of respect for his career and his son but because it was this same son who accused him of being a pedofile and a rapist. Something like that is kinda hard to forget. Besides, I like knowing other families are as screwed up, as my own.
Last and not best (respectfully) is the death of Lance Cade. Cade never quite reached the stardom you would expect from someone his age and size but if he did nothing else right in his entire career he died in time enough to throw a monkey wrench in Linda McMahon’s political career. I mean, I’d like to see sharpshooters on the senate floor, as much as anyone, but I’m not sure the world is ready for a Schwarzenegger, Obama and a McMahon in office. It would be too exhausting. Lance McNaught because you did your part to save this country you get a place on this list that would have belonged to Mike “Baston Booger” Shaw AND forgiveness for that Barry Windham, cowboy character. Rest in peace.
Now before you go and get your britches in a bunch because I didn’t mention someone you think I should have….. what do you want from me?
Posted by Jac- on December 28th, 2010 :: Filed under Editorials
Tags :: angelo poff, Aurelian Smith Sr., Baston booger, Chris Kanyon, Christ Klucsartis, el gigante, giant gonzales, grizzly smith, jake "the snake" roberts, jorge gonzales, Lance Cade, Lance Mcnaught, lanny poffo, Randy Savage, wrestler deaths, wrestler deaths 2010


